Embers of a Thousand Days

Role Models

Besides my two patron saints, St. Francis & St. Dominic, I have two, relatively new, role models. God is calling me to do a lot of stuff with my life, and in all honesty I have no clue how to go about it. That’s why I identify with these two: Pope John Paul II the Great and St. Thomas Aquinas. 

Pope John Paul II

I relate most of all to him, not least because he helped influence me to become a Catholic long before I knew what exactly Catholicism was all about in high school (also I’m pretty sure he prayed for my conversion in Heaven along with the Blessed Mother, Francis, and Dominic as well.). But also, I find a lot of inspiration in him. He was always joyful, sincere, loving, did not sway in his beliefs nor back down when it came to morality and other causes. He also wrote poetry and plays, under pseudonyms so that it would be judged on its own merits and wouldn’t be held against his theological & philosophical writings (He wanted both to be judged on its own merits). As someone who likes to write fiction & poetry, I’m glad to see that I don’t have to choose between a career in theology & a life of writing, because John Paul II went before me and did both.

St. Thomas Aquinas

He is the Church’s theologian. The guy that everyone at some point or the other refers back to. God granted him the wisdom to write great things and write he did. He’s know for the Summa Theologiae and Summa Contra Gentiles. But, most of St. Thomas’ time was spent commenting on Scriptures as an university master of theology. He may have thought those commentaries as his most important work. He also thought of the science of theology (from moral theology to Christology) as being unified and the foundation of that science is Scripture. So, as someone who is going to be studying biblical theology for a career, it is good to know that no matter how much my mind says otherwise, causes like being pro-life, defending the faith philosophically, evangelization etc. doesn’t have to be left at the door because it all goes back to Scripture and back to God (my mind is still a little bit Protestant with the either/or thinking than the Catholic and/both). St. Thomas is the best example of someone who got it right and didn’t compartmentalize, so neither should I.

Good role models eh?

Slowly Getting What God Wants

I am slowly understanding what it is exactly that God wants me to do with my life. The past few months has been a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs of what I think God wants me to do. Most of the time I misunderstand or refuse to listen, then sometimes a moment of clarity hits.

About an hour after the new year struck, I had a moment of clarity. I finally “got it” and fit all the pieces of the puzzle together that God has left me. For a long time, I had it narrowed down to four choices for a career/vocation: theology, philosophy, classics and literature/English. I’ve flip flopped over the place going back and forth between them. As I said, I finally “got it.” I think it was a combination of God showing me how dense I was and the pressure of choosing a major soon that made it all “click.” 

I truly believe that God has called me to be a theologian (that is where the philosophy & theology fits in), but He has also blessed me with the talent to write and that is the part that I’ve been trying to fit into the whole plan. Last night I decided that theology & English was the way to go, that’s how writing fits it (I study religion & lit and write on the side). This is where God shows me my denseness. Then God struck me with the very simple realization. I can be a theologian and write, I don’t need to be an English major for that. So in a very anti-climatic way in the early hours of the morning, God showed me what He wants me to do. I kind of feel foolish for missing it now.